Aliases

Author's Note: This was written by a bored college student during class. Proceed with caution.

Voldemort:

“Voldemort”

“Tom Riddle”

“Dark Lord”

“You-know-who”

“He-who-must-not-be-named”

“So far so good…”

“He-who-has-far-too-many-names”

“Wait, what?”

“I-don't-know-who”

“But I do know who!”

“Night Party Lord”

“Glow-in-the-Dark-Lord”

“OK, this one’s kind of funny.”

“Tommy”

“Riddler”

“Riddle-me-this”

“Noseless git”

“Snakey git”

“Snarky git”

“Slimy git”

“Oily git”

“Well, aren’t we original?”

“Git”

“Seriously though-“

“Evil git”

“Stop it-“

“Greasy git”

“Stop!”

“LinkedIn Database” [1]

“What in the world does that-”

“Moldy-shorts”

“Old-emort”

“Cold-emort”

“Mould-emort”

“Scold-emort”

“Fold-emort”

“Sold-emort”

“Troll-demort”

“Droll-demort”

“Bored-emort”

“I-swore-demort”

“Ice-cold-emort”

“Jolt-emort”

“Bolt-emort”

“Snore-demort”

“Snort-demort”

“Folklore-demort”

“Store-demort”

“LOL-demort”

“She-sells-sea-shells-on-the-seashore-demort!”

“...”

“What. Was. That.”


Dumbledore:

“Dumbledore too? It can’t be as bad as Voldemort right? Right?

“Dumbledore”

“Rumble-roar”

“Tumble-tore”

“Dumble-boar”

“Fumble-smore”

“Grumble-snore”

“Crumble-more”

“Bumble-wore”

“Jumble-pour”

“Humble-four”

“Mumble-lore”

“Oh dear.”


Harry Potter:

“…I can't ask you to stop, can I?”

“Harry Potter”

“Barry Trotter”

“Gary Otter”

“Ugly Daughter”

“Mary Fought-her”

“Hairy Dotter”

“Lary Got-her”

“Fairly Hotter”

“My ears... Please... Have mercy...”